Question Differently

Do you ever find women not getting back to you after giving you their number or when you are in conversation do you find they don’t open up to you as much? 

How would you to have your interactions created in such a way that will make them curious about you? 

Let me ask you this to put into perspective. When you meet new people or go to a social gathering or networking event have you ever been asked the same questions such as:

What do you do?

Where are you from?

How long you been doing it?

I am sure you have you probably think “here we go again” and feel bored. 

Imagine how a women feels when a man initiates a conversation with her and asks the same questions about her self. Kezia Noble, the worlds leading female dating expert for mens states on her work relating to creating deep connection that when women are asked the same questions, a they have been asked it numerous times, she goes into an autopilot mode, meaning she answers them autonomously without actively thinking about what to day. As a result, this interaction feels bland and forgettable and you haven’t made a memorable impression of yourself. 

So how do you overcome this and make the interaction and moment stick?

The key is to ask different questions as opposed to the same generic questions. Examples of these questions can be:

What was it like growing up in (their country/city)?

If I were to be amazing at (their occupation) what traits would I need?

What inspired you to do (their occupation)?

Was that (their occupation) something you want to do since 16?

What do you do to unwind outside of work?

What do you do for fun?

I bet you nobody has asked you these questions before and if you were asked these questions, you would have to think about it deeply before answering it. As this is a deviation from the expectation. According to Chip and Dan Heath’s book Made to stick, they argue for any idea to be made to stick it should have en element of unexpectedness. Unpredictability is what grabs people’s attention as it violates the schema of what a typical first conversation and when you move away from the norms you are on to a winner. So as the questions above are less likely to have been asked from a woman compared to the first set of questions, your interaction will more likely be memorable and will leave a lasting impression.

So next time you are going out on a date, or are likely to go out and meet a woman for the first time, try and think of unique questions you can ask her and move away from the stale and usual questions and gain that spark, leave a solid lasting impression, and the woman wanting to see you again.